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BY DR. MICHAEL KRYCHMAN
Talking about sexual issues with your partner can be embarrassing and concerning, so it is important to use effective communication skills when you are discussing sexual issues.
Women should feel comfortable initiating the discussion concerning techniques or products to enhance the sexual relationship. They may be embarrassed about their diminished response and may even feel less feminine or sensual. On the other hand, men may also be apprehensive about discussing desensitizing sprays that are typically used to help prolong an erection. For men, erectile prowess (including hardness and duration erection firmness) is often linked to his feelings and manhood and masculinity.
One communication approach may be to focus on the couple’s sexual experience and reiterate that incorporating sexual accessories or other enhancements into love making will enhance the overall sexual pleasure of both parties.
Other important facets to remember when discussing sexual concerns include effective communication styles and techniques. Some tested and true effective communication skills include:
1. Have private discussions during undistracted times (turn off the television, iPad and cell phones). Be face-to-face, be open and speak honestly with consideration.
2. Be respectful. Respect individual boundaries and accept differences in sexual interest.
3. Speak from a place of “I”, expressing your own personal sexual needs and sexual desires. Avoid accusatory comments or tones.
4. Listen actively and with an open mind, without interrupting.
5. Have an open mind and allow your partner an opportunity to voice their concerns. Avoid shaming or laughter directed at your partner. Respect is most important.
Sexuality is an essential part of a couple’s intimate sensual connection and honesty is a principal aspect of communication. Asking, telling, listening, and respecting without judgment will help facilitate an open loving discussion concerning sexuality.
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